My So-Called Birdfeeder
I was out running errands last summer when I pulled into a parking space and found myself directly in front of a store called something like “All Things Birds.” I was intrigued so I decided to stop in for a quick look around. Upon entering I was dazzled by a huge array of lovely and very charming bird houses, birdfeeders, bird baths, bird cages, and every other bird related product you could possibly imagine. Apparently there’s more of a market for this kind of thing than I would have guessed. I was tempted to buy something, but generally refrain from impulse purchases, so I slipped out and went on my way.
Unbeknownst to me in that moment, an idea was taking root in my mind. It wasn’t more than three or four weeks later that I had a cute little birdhouse hanging from a shepherd’s hook just outside my window. I hate to admit this because I know how boring it makes me sound, but I was thrilled to death when an assortment of beautiful birds in all colors of the rainbow began to appear. It was so exciting, at least for the first few months. Then the unexpected occurred.
It was mid morning one warm summer day when I noticed that the birdseed in my feeder was almost gone. It had been disappearing more and more rapidly over the past few days, but this was ridiculous. I had just filled the feeder the day before. I went ahead and refilled it once again, and it disappeared just as quickly. I couldn’t figure this out until I glanced out of my window a few days later, and the reason became all too clear. The neighborhood squirrels had discovered my birdfeeder and were conducting clandestine raids. They were working in teams. One would climb onto the feeder and hang upside down on the outer edge. This caused the whole thing to tip sideways, dumping the contents onto the ground where his buddies lay quietly waiting. They would all stuff their faces to the bursting point and then dash off. This operation was completed in a mind bogglingly short amount of time. You would have thought they’d had special forces training. I honestly don’t believe a navy seal team could’ve done any better.
It was all very upsetting. I attempted to remedy the situation by researching ways to keep squirrels out of bird feeders. Adding cayenne pepper to the birdseed seemed to be the most tried and true effective way to repel them, so that’s what I did. I don’t know what part of the world they’re from, but it turns out that our neighborhood squirrels like hot spicy food. In other words, the cayenne pepper had no effect. I tried a few other things, but nothing worked, and I eventually gave up and took the birdfeeder down.
You’ll be happy to know I haven’t given up completely. I’ve just put up a hummingbird feeder, and I have high hopes. Squirrels are supposedly not attracted to these kinds of feeders, but who knows. They’re real sneaky. I may have to install a hidden camera. I’m determined to win.