Out With the Old
I bet there are a lot of you with an abundance of hideous outfits from days gone by still hanging in your closets. Maybe hideous is not the right word. Maybe laughable is better. Yeah, that’s better. I believe you know what I mean when I say laughable. I’m talking about the kind of outfit you wouldn’t be caught dead in. If you were to pull one out of the closet, put it on, and come strolling out to where the rest of the family could see you, they would all collapse in hysterics the minute they laid eyes on you. That kind of outfit.
I have quite a few of these, and yet I can’t seem to throw them out. I couldn’t tell you why. They’ve long since overstayed their usefulness. Perhaps it’s because they’re all things I once looked good in, or thought I did. That’s pretty debatable I would imagine, a definite matter of opinion even when they were in style. Whatever the case, I know the time to purge my closets came and went ages ago, but I seem to have some kind of strange emotional attachment to this outdated clothing that in truth may not have been all that great to begin with. I’m referring to spangly sequined shirts, pullover sweaters with huge shoulder pads, puffy pants, short skirts, and wide belts, just to name a few. If I were to go out in public in those getups now, I would almost assuredly make a complete fool of myself. No thanks.
My wardrobe now takes up three closets. They’re not very big closets, but there are three of them, and they’re all stuffed with clothes. The first closet contains the clothes that I currently wear. The second contains the more infrequently worn clothing for dressy occasions, and the third contains tired, old, cringeworthy clothing whose only possible use might be that of a Halloween party costume. I think I’ll start with that one. I’ll steel myself and start emptying it. Then I’ll work my way through the other two and see what I can weed out.
If you recognize yourself here, and this whole situation sounds all too familiar, I suggest you do the same. I’m going to start tomorrow, or maybe the day after - yes, the day after. I’m going to do it. It has to be done, so I will. But what if I get invited to a Halloween party? Then what will I do? Maybe I should wait until October. That’s a better idea. I should definitely wait. Shoot, this is going to be harder than I thought.